Archive for the ‘recipe’ Category

Fried Quinoa

Posted: September 11, 2012 in food, recipe, vegan
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Nom nom nom

Take 1 cup quinoa, mix with 2 cups water, bring to boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer for 15 minutes.
When done, fluff with fork.
In a pan heat up some olive oil, onion, garlic, and chili peppers.
Saute until onions are tender, add in quinoa. Stir fry, adding salt and pepper to taste.
Delicious and cheap.


Quinoa and Black Bean Burritos

Posted: September 11, 2012 in food, recipe, vegan
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Hey kids, here’s a really simple meal packed with protein and fiber. It’s a shit-ton of calories, but its filling, huge, and delicious.
Stats are at the bottom.

1/2 cup quinoa, dry
1 can black beans
1/2 small onion, diced
Garlic, to taste
1 or 2 jalapeno peppers, diced
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 small can diced tomatoes, drained
2 large tortillas
1 avocado
Salt and pepper to taste.

Make quinoa per package directions.
Saute onions, garlic, and jalapeno peppers in olive oil until onion and peppers are soft and done.
Rinse beans, add to onion and peppers.
When done, stir in quinoa.
Add diced tomatoes.
Slice up avocado.
Steam tortillas.
Scoop half of mixture into tortillas, add avocado.
Serve with salsa and stuff.

Calories- 747
Fat- 23.8
Carbs- 101.2
Fiber- 32.3
Protein- 27.4

Holy Crap, Sweet Potatoes.

Posted: September 9, 2012 in food, recipe
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You know you love them.
Savory little tubers of awesomness. No matter how you cook them. I really enjoy mine sliced, drizzled with olive oil, a bit of salt and pepper, maybe some herbs, and baked. (As in the Google Images… image above.
How do you enjoy YOUR sweet potato?

Baked Tofu

Posted: March 26, 2012 in food, recipe, vegan, video
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Yo, sitting here at work, with two apples waiting for me on lunch. I didn’t have time to make a lunch to bring, so I stopped by the (a) 7-11 on Roscoe and picked them up. Two for a dollar. What a deal…

Anyway, it’s pretty slow, so I got to thinking. Baked tofu. And then I went searching for a recipe. And I found it. And it looks delicious. And I want that. Now. But, apples are delicious (and nutritious).

So, now gentle reader, here is a video of how to make Baked Tofu, brought to you by the Vegan Zombie from




Cheap Vegan Meals

Posted: March 21, 2012 in recipe, vegan
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A slight deviation today. I’ll be posting some really cheap vegan meals. We’ve all been there. Some of us are there now, where we need to feed ourselves and loved ones/roommates on a budget. A very low budget.


2 Cans of beans. Or, make them yourself. (Cans are easy)
1 Cup of rice. You know how to cook it.
1 Can of diced tomatoes with chilis
2-3 diced jalapeno peppers (fresh is best)
1 tablespoon dried chili flakes
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 teaspoon garlic salt
4 tortillas (or you can slop it into a bowl, but then, it would just be rice and beans, but whatever)

Heat up a frying pan. Maybe put a bit of olive oil in the bottom. Open the beans, drain em, and rinse em off. Plop half the can of tomatoes on top (the can’s innards, not the can itself…).  Put the beans and tomatoes in the pan. Stir it around. Keep stirring until the beans are coated. Add half the spices.
Dump the cooked rice into the pan. Add the rest of the tomatoes and spices. Stir until its all nice and hot.
Spoon the mixture into the tortillas and eat.
Simple and good. You can also bake these in the oven for a few minutes to get the tortillas all nice and crunchy. Hot sauce makes them even better.


1 block of super firm tofu
1 cup of mushrooms, sliced
1 cup of broccoli
1 tablespoon of soy sauce
1/2 an onion.
Some salt, pepper, and dried chili flakes

Take a pan. Add some oil at the bottom. Slosh it around. Dump in the onion. Let it cook down to deliciousness. Crumble the tofu into the pan. Stir.  Add in soy sauce and spices. Let it get golden. Dump in the veggies. Stir it all around until the veggies get soft.

TOFU AND BROCCOLI (The $3 Epic Meal)

1 block super tofu
1 12 oz bag of broccoli
A tablespoon of soy sauce
Spices spices sahspices

Heat some oil in the pan. Crumble the tofu in the pan. Let it get brown. Add half the soy sauce and spices. Stir. Add the broccoli and the remaining soy sauce and spices. Let the broccoli soften. Eat.


1 Potato.
1 Block Super Firm Tofu
1 Cup Hot salsa. Or mild, if you’re a.. you know.
1 Jalapeno pepper, diced.
Some salt and pepper.
4 tortillas

Heat some oil in a pan. Chop the potato into small chunks. Sprinkle some salt and pepper on them. Fry the potato until its golden brown. (Stay Gold) Put the potatoes on a plate. Crumble the tofu into the pan. Add some salt and pepper. Let that get golden too. Add half the salsa and the jalapeno pepper. Stir.
When the tofu is done, add the potato back in, and add the rest of the salsa.  When its all good and hot, spoon it into the tortillas. Nom.


Alright, all of these recipes are super cheap, super good, and super-filling. Cut your portions if you’re watching your calories, obviously. I don’t need to really need to tell you that. I just wasted a few seconds typing that, and I don’t really know why.

The hellish might of vital wheat gluten fills my veins!!

Is eating a vegan diet healthy? In a word, yes.

Now, being vegan and eating nothing but white rice, white sugar, white bread, white pasta, and white potatoes, with a helping of Oreos here and there is certainly not healthy, and is about as unhealthy as the Standard American Diet (SAD). Being a vegan and eating fresh vegetables, seeds, nuts, and berries, maybe with a bit of fermented tofu and seitan, and a handful of whole grains and legumes, and lots of water is extremely healthy. The more-or-less ‘Paleo Vegan’ diet, if you will. Veganism is better argued as an ethical diet rather than a healthy diet, mostly for the reason outlined in the first sentence. Just because something is vegan, does not make it healthy. Oreos will never be healthy, sorry.

Best vegan foods:

Lots of:
Dark green leafy vegetables.
Peppers, tomatoes, eggplant.
Olive oil.
Coconut (oil.)
Nutritional Yeast.

In Moderation:
Sweet potatoes.

Whole Grain bread or pasta.
White potatoes.

Animal flesh or secretions. (come on, this is a vegan blog)

Remember, eating dietary fat will not make you fat, and will help you eat at a calorie deficit if you’re trying to lose weight, as it is more filling than carbohydrates, and will keep you full longer. A good ratio to keep while dieting is this:
55% fats (remember, good, healthy fats from plants)
30% protein
15% carbohydrates.
Sites and apps like Myfitnesspal will help you monitor this. Or you could just wing it. Either or.

You don’t have to eat animal flesh and secretions just because you want to eliminate sugars and junk from your body.

Here is a sample meal plan (without measurements or portion sizes, because your body will tell you when you’re full, drink plenty of water and listen to your body).

Tofu scramble with nutritional yeast, mushrooms, jalapeno, broccoli, and spinach cooked with coconut oil.
Cup of coffee.

Salad of Wild Rocket lettuce, peppers, olives, tomato, avocado, a few almonds, and any other vegetable you want, really. Olive oil drizzled over. Water or tea.

Spicy eggplant with garlic, hot peppers, side of grilled asparagus, over some cauliflower ‘rice’. Water or tea.


Depending on portion size, this equals to roughly 1300-1500 calories for the day. Perfect, really. Remember in your macro counting, you subtract the dietary fiber from the total carbohydrate total, you don’t digest fiber, so it doesn’t count. Plus it helps you poop. Pooping is fun (and it gives you time to read, and reading is good)

This is Seitanic Low Carb, bitches.

Oh, in case you’re a retard, I’m not a doctor or a licensed nutritionist. I only report what has worked for me.